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名家荐读|王立世评冷慰怀三行诗五首

(魏建国英译)

2023-04-20 作者:王立世 | 来源:中诗网 | 阅读:
三行诗,因为诗体的微小,在精炼的要求上特别高,不能有多余的字,多余的词,多余的句子,不能拖沓,信口开河,语言上必须节俭,情感上必须节制,诗体上还要求完美无缺,内容上还必须紧密联系。开头要起好,避免平淡,结尾要结好,避免写成总结,内容要精彩,避免凌空蹈高,三者之间有机结合,形成有血有肉的意象,是三行诗这种艺术形式的内在要求。
婚戒
 
环形赛道上
誓言与忠诚竞跑
胜负难料
 
Wedding ring
 
Ring, a racetrack,
On which Promise competes with vow.
Which will win? No one can tell.

 
  把婚戒比作环形赛道可以说前无古人,想象力与及物性二者兼具。赛什么呢?是这首诗的焦点。“誓言与忠诚竞跑”,虚实结合,动静对比,无声反衬有声,营造出辽阔的审美空间。诗人又一次刷新了我们的思维。誓言与忠诚竞跑的结果有三种情形,誓言超越忠诚,说得比做得好。誓言落后忠诚,做得比说得好。誓言等于忠诚,说得和做得一样好。“胜负难料”也就水到渠成。婚戒是信物,但也有言而无信、背信弃义的时候,在市场经济时代,爱情存在变色变质变味的异化现象,诗人的“胜负难料”,既是期许,也有担忧,是对世风的轻轻点拨。这首三行诗开头平地起惊雷,中间像一场马拉松,结尾却没有结果,松紧、收放自如,布局得当有序,结构完整,情感充沛,思想深邃。三行诗,因为诗体的微小,在精炼的要求上特别高,不能有多余的字,多余的词,多余的句子,不能拖沓,信口开河,语言上必须节俭,情感上必须节制,诗体上还要求完美无缺,内容上还必须紧密联系。开头要起好,避免平淡,结尾要结好,避免写成总结,内容要精彩,避免凌空蹈高,三者之间有机结合,形成有血有肉的意象,是三行诗这种艺术形式的内在要求。(王立世)
 
The poem author’s use a racetrack as a metaphor for a wedding ring is unprecedented, and he employs both imagination and metaphor to express the personal sacrifices and persistence required to maintain a life of marital bliss.
 
Why do these two concepts compete? This is the focus of the poem. “Vow and loyalty” imply that the pair of the concepts is personified and materialized against the broad background of life. The poet refreshes the reader’s mind with the three possible outcomes of the race: failure to honor one’s commitment to one’s spouse; failure to satisfy one’s spouse more than what one has promised; and merely meeting what one has promised to one’s spouse. This brings us to the last line of the poem: “Which will win, no one can tell”.
 
The ring is the token by which one conveys one’s pledge to one’s spouse. But the symbol of love can possibly lead to the breaching of it by the other part. Especially in the era of market economy nowadays, we often see love being tarnished, thus, the last line implies both the hope for heavenly blessing and worry about the possibility of heartbreak,thereby indirectly criticizing certain social phenomena.
 
Let us look at the arrangement of the poem: it starts with an amazing metaphor, followed by a marathon, to its end of where there is no answer. It is well-structured and instructive. I make bold to say that it is a masterpiece of three-line poem writing because it meets all the requirements : compactness with understatement of feeling within a limited space of writing.
 
Its imaginative in writing vivifies a racetrack on which a person’s character is tested, touching upon the universality of the eternal theme of love and family. (Wang Lishi)
 
 
书签
 
躺在经典里
走马观花
自诩资深学者
 
Bookmark
 
Laying within pages of classics,
Taking fleeting glances thereon
It flaunts itself as a scholar of great renown.
 

  书签是一个隐喻,隐喻那些钻在象牙塔里自以为是的学究,表面上博览群书,实际上徒有虚名。与其说资深,不如说肤浅,缺乏真知灼见。15个字,有5个动词,4个名词,1个形容词。三行诗如果滥用形容词,表面上热闹,结果必然是浮躁的、平庸的、失败的。成熟的诗人擅长用动词和名词写作,三行诗更是如此。《书签》在词语的锤炼上像古典诗词一样,有一字千钧的重量,动词传神,名词精准,形容词切合性格,在矛盾中表演得淋漓尽致。这是一首意象诗,其意象来自日常生活,但灌注着自己独特的情感与见解,获得不同寻常的反讽意味。同样的生活,平庸的诗人习惯于记流水帐,敏锐的诗人总会从平凡中发现不平凡,找到一个点去突破,去表达对生活的深刻感悟。(王立世)
 
The bookmark is a simile, implying that if someone is accidentally admitted into the ivory tower of academia, he will tend to have an illusion in which he sees himself as being a scholar merely for his long-time proximity to real scholars.
 
It is commonplace nowadays that being considered an erudite person merely through one’s superficial appearance or earning one’s senior position only by age. The poem uses limited words to construct a context or mimicry in which a common object is given symbolic meaning. It is common for us to meet persons in their organization whose function, like that “bookmark”, is doubtful but who undoubtedly stand with their peers by nominal qualification.
 
It is a pleasant surprise for this poem to describe mediocre and pretentious people as bookmarks.
 
A good work has multi-fold meanings, such as this ironic poem, which suggests a contrast between real scholars and fake ones enjoy the same respect as the real; it can also deliver a profound message.
 
The work generates poetic imagery from everyday life, stirring up our common sensation by the poet’s unique use of satire.
 
A poet with sharp mind is more likely to find something special from the odds and ends of the day, and if making it as a cutting point, the work may reveal his/her deep understanding of the world of life. (Wang Lishi)
 
 
鸟笼
 
羽毛入库
天空
被安逸阉割
 
Bird cage
 
Wings folded away,
Longing for heavens,yet
Made impotent by comfort.

 
  羽毛借代鸟,突出有翅难展,被笼子束缚的痛苦。笼子比为库,暗示鸟还有飞出笼子的希望,天空只是暂时少了飞翔的美景。诗人说天空“被安逸阉割”,具有突兀之美。“阉割”使天空破碎,让人感到疼痛和失望。这里的“安逸”是对自由的侮辱。以人的自由牺牲鸟的自由,用自由反衬不自由,安逸变得沉重,变得有罪。这样的鸟笼应当砸烂,让鸟回归浩瀚的天空。诗人对自然万物的体悟不是蜻蜓点水,而是与人类的精神巧妙地融合于一体,使自然有了灵性和思想。(王立世)
 
“Feathers” refer to a bird, emphasizing that the cage forbids it to fly even though it boasts wings. The suffering of being encaged is compared to being backed into an encircled parking space.

A bird is deprived of its freedom, yet is offered ease and idleness. yet, considering the meaning of life for any conscious subject, these are heavily burdens and guilty pleasure.
 
Back into the sky, a flying bird is like the ultimate pursuit of a soul. At this moment, the physical and spiritual beat like wings in concerted rhythm. (Wang Lishi)
 
 
圆规
 
看似瘦骨嶙峋
两条长腿
划圈占地最在行
 
Compass
 
All skin and bones,
Two long legs
Seizing land, better than any other.

 
  圆规“划圈”是为了“占地”,赋予一个器物以强烈的主观情感,圆规成了贪婪者象征。诗人告诫世人不要被它“瘦骨嶙峋”的表象迷惑,认清它的野心和本质。“最在行”,贪婪成了一门专业,充满辛辣的嘲讽。物诗首先要精准,否则升华失去根基,境界难出。这首诗抓住了圆规的特征,巧妙地联想到一些社会现象,赋予物丰富的内涵,思想上颠覆了传统的认知。诗歌的创新绝不是玩文字游戏,用文字的拆解组合制造迷雾欺骗读者,而必须写出别人眼中所有笔下所无的东西,眼中所有解决诗歌的来源问题,笔下所无就是对创新能力的考验。诗坛上那些玩文字游戏的诗人缺乏生活底蕴,缺乏洞见生活的智慧,这类诗人在三行诗领域更显现出其笨拙、无能和腐朽。(王立世)
 
“Encircling by compass” refers to occupy land. The poem injects subjective element into the compass, making it into a symbol of greed.
 
The poet warns that no one should be confused by its skinny appearance and focuses on its nature of ambitiousness. When greed turns out to be trade, “no other can surpass it”; thus, it becomes an irony for similar social phenomena.
 
The poem features the personified nature of compass, namely, greed for the occupation of land. From the basic idea of greed, the reader can call to mind all manner of other negative thoughts or actions.
 
A good poem has to offer originality that can surprise reader by evoking some new angle of thinking to overturn the traditional mindset rather than by any play of words or pretentious style without substance of life experience. Therefore, it constitutes the test for a poet to create a work that comes from life and nurtures those minds that are ready to be enlightened. Particularly in the three-line poem writing, it calls for such a creative mind; it is easier to unveil any work that is clumsy and pedantic and incompetent in achieving such a lofty goal.(Wang Lishi)
 
 
妒忌
 
怨恨的私生子
父亲
无颜现身
 
Envy
 
It is the bastard child of shame
The one who bred it
Refuses to show himself for loss of face.

 
  把妒忌比作“怨恨的私生子”,从根源上看,妒忌流着怨恨的血液。从法理上看,见不得阳光。从生存环境看,难免尴尬。诗人形象地告诉我们,不要让妒忌这样的私生子在人间繁衍,即使怀上这样的鬼胎,也要乘早打掉。诗人是一个比喻的高手,如果真像有些诗人讲的“去修辞”,三行诗不知变成什么样子。三行诗因为短小,如果平铺直叙,就味同嚼蜡。修辞能使三行诗迸发情感火花,提升思想高度,可以说修辞在三行诗的创作中功不可没。(王立世)
 
Describing envy as the bastard child of resentment, envy breeds the seeds of resentment. Reasonably, such resentment cannot be put under the sun; yet, unavoidably, human nature allows such embarrassment to grow in the bottom of the heart.
 
The poet suggests that such a malformed embryo should be removed as soon as possible.
 
We can see the poet is an able hand of rhetoric because in the limited paradigm of this type of poem, he makes good use of metaphors to upgrade its potentiality in depth and width of literary, social and philosophical cognition. (Wang Lishi)
 
 
  诗作者简介:冷慰怀,男,1945年生于江西宜春,编辑职称,退休前任职于洛阳轴承集团宣传部。1983年开始写作,1995年加入中国作家协会,已在海内外报刊发表作品350多万字,获得过《光明日报》《诗刊》等举办的征文大赛奖励30余项,出版新诗、散文、评论、纪实文学等个人作品共9部约200万字。
 
Leng Weihuai (1945-), male, born in Yichun, Jiangxi province,has retired as an editor. Before his retirement, he worked in the publicity department with Luoyang Bearing Group. He started his writing career in 1983 and joined Chinese Writers Association in 1995. He has published at home and abroad writings over 3.5 million words; and has won over 30 awards in writing contests held by Guangming Daily and Poetry. Additionally, he has authored 9 anthologies of about 2 million words in the forms of modern Chinese poetry, prose, literary criticism and documentary writing as well.

 
 
  诗评者简介:王立世,中国作协会员。在《诗刊》《中国作家》等报刊发表诗歌1000多首,在《诗探索》等报刊发表诗歌评论100多篇。诗歌入选《诗日子》《新世纪诗典》《中国新诗排行榜》等100多部选本。获“2022年度十佳华语诗人、全国第二十五届鲁藜诗歌奖、第三届中国当代诗歌奖等数十种奖项。
 
Wang Lishi, a member of the Writers’ Association of China. More than 1000 of his poems have been published in renowned Chinese magazines such as Magazine of Poem and Chinese Writers, and some of his poems have been included in some influential selections of poems such as Poems of the Day, the Poem Dictionary of the New Epoch and the Ranking List of the New Poems of China. He has been awarded dozens of honorary titles such as being ranked among the top 10 Chinese Poets of 2022, and being the recipient of the 25th Lu Li Poetry Prize and the Third Chinese Contemporary Poetry Award.
 
 
  英译者简介:魏建国,1967年出生,北京人,汉族。现为中国人民大学外国语学院英语专业博士生。中国翻译协会会员,《英语沙龙》特约译稿人,译著有《关键时刻的英语演讲》等。